I have always found this battle to be very interesting, even pre-motherhood. My brother and I is what first sparked my interest because of a debate we had. He thinks we were raised identically and nature had predetermined my loser-ness, as it pre-determined his amazing-ness. I totally disagree with him and had a difficult time argueing that I was the favorite and was far more doted upon than he was, he is in denial and thinks he is the favorite-his rational is beyond my comprehension.
I studied Nature VS Nurture in college, read a few scientific studies on the matter and others that relate to it. The line is still drawn down the middle for me. The topic is all the more important now that I have my own son. I am constantly taking mental notes on qualities of his that are all his own given by nature, and the qualities that I have beaten into him.
It hard to know where the line is drawn. I particular attribute for example I think is both Nature & Nurture. Most newborns like to be held and cuddled, being a crazed physical lover myself I hardly set my son down. He even rode along on my chest while I vacuumed. I think the only exception I made was when I went to the bathroom, and even then he was in his cradle bouncer in the doorway. Even after his personality was shining through and became more opinionated I still snuggled the crap out of him, only now, he snuggled me back. Nature or Nurture? Did I precondition him to love love like me? Or is he a natural lover all on his own? I compare him with his cousin, Lil'D began refusing hugs as soon as he could crawl away. E says that they still snuggle sometimes but its brief and far between, usually when he is sick or really tired.
Remi has only once refused a hug from me, it was when he strolled into the living room yielding a steak knife holding it by the blade as if he was intending to stab me with the handle. I sprung up, not wanting him to make an quick movements I super calmly took his fist around the blade and peeled it away, as soon as I confirmed he hadn't been harmed I freaked out on him screaming "THIS IS A KNIFE! YOU DONT EVER EVER TOUCH KNIVES! THEY CUT YOU BIG OWIE!" I was being super dramatic trying to drill the point into his little head. I banished him to time out and he was bawling and bawling and bawling and bawling about it. I always dish out hugs after a timeout, he pushed me away...I grabbed him and hugged him anyways, I dont know what Spock would say about that, but mad at me or not he can't deny me a hug. Thank God we have dull steak knives.
To be honest Remi may initiate more hugs than I do, it's prolly pretty close but just maybe he goes in for more than I do. He is a little oOCD, Ill sit on the floor with him and randomly ask for a hug and he will, then he will step back and give papa a hug, then me, then papa, then me, then papa...this could go on for 15 minutes and he will have responded to my one request for a hug with 50 more hugs.
Nature or Nurture?
Remington will have broccoli for dinner, & dance like something is trying to escape from inside him and Phil will say he is "Just like his momma". tehehe....implying that is from nurture...is it? Or does he naturally love broccoli and dance beautifully like his momma?
How much of the child's personality and tendencies are to blame on the parents and nature?
blame the bad ones on parents and the good ones on nurture. ;) j/k I used to be a huge believer in nurture but then I have to review my own life and my parent's lives and wonder. I definately believe genetics play a big part in who we are by nature. I am constantly finding that my dad and I are very much alike and he has spent very few years with me, especially when I was growing up.