Leather & Lace Strip Club

My husband and I celebrated Valentine's day by eating crab legs and going to see live nudes at the strip clubs. Do I get a wife of the year award for something like that? lol.

Saturday we got a pretty late start, Phil felt the need for a nap and I got into a movie and have been fighting off a sinus infection. Remington took a really long nap so that didn't help to kick us in gear any. By the time we were out the door it was already well after 6pm. By the time we dropped Remi off 30 miles down the road with Grammy it was after 7. Then we had to stop again 50 miles down the road to pick up my winter coat I left in Crofton at a previous function. Then we had to stop at the Santee Reservation to fill up my gas tank and get a carton of Natives. Finally we rolled into Yankton at 8:45pm and parked at Jo Dean's to eat their Saturday night Seafood Buffett. Yummy!

After we ate our first giant plate of Crab Legs I asked Phil, "So what do you want for Valentine's day?", he said, "I already told you, I just wanna see you enjoy yourself tonight."...I sorta rolled my eyes and said, "Well, I was thinking about it and I thought a nice place for us to let our bellies digest all this food would be at the Cockatoo, we could just sit back relax and enjoy the show.".

He laughed at me in disbelief and said, "Well I wish you would have told me that, I would have put my contacts in and not have worn my hat!". I laughed, "What do you mean? Why does that matter?", "Stripper Law! They smush their tits in your face and break your glasses, then they think its cute to take your hat off and throw it across the room, i've spent 20 minutes wandering around a strip club looking for my hat.". After I stopped giggling I continued, "Well, I have yet to see strippers in action, we have always wanted to stop there but bc of Remi or time we never did, so here we are, Remi is gone for the night its gonna be 10pm soon...", "OK".

So after we ate we went to the Cockatoo. For me its like studying an entirely different species. Sort of a subspecies of Woman. We took our drinks to a corner booth and sat back. Phil was watching me watch, the first girl we saw a brunette, she had on a G_String and a teeny bikini top. She was very flat chested and didn't even have a butt. I immediatly was comparing what I expected strippers to look like and her. I expected strippers to have huge fake titties (or real one but I expected big titties) and I expected a big butt, I expected Barbie on Cocaine pretty much...

She wasn't really doing any "tricks" either, I expected Cocained Barbie to be doing upside down flips on the stripper pole and picking up dollar bills with her ass crack. She was just sort of swaying her hips and hanging on to the bar above her head walking around sexy like. She would get on the floor and insenuate getting it doggy style...that was pretty much it. Her just writhing around on the floor and doing a sexy walk back and forthe. She spun around a couple times on the bar, but that was the extent of it.

When a man sat at the stage and gave her a dollar she would wrap her legs around his head and motor boat him. I tried to refrain from laughing but could not. I had never seen a woman without breasts motorboat a man before. I found it very comical. She put her hands at her arm pits and smushed as much flesh as she could together and got in his face and twisted her shoulders to get her boobs to go back and forth.

The next stripper that came on was tatted up, big black tattoos on her thighs, calves, back and chest. She was blonde and about an A cup if I had to guess, equally flat from front to back as the other one. This one mights had a little bigger tushie. She fit my imagery of Cocained Barbie pretty well in the face, it wasn't until she gave me a lap dance I saw she was missing a few of her front teeth.

Phil wanted me to go up and sit at the stage, but I didn't wanna. I wouldn't have minded the boobs in my face but I didnt want her to wrap her legs around my head. I mostly just didn't want to disrespect these women any more than they were already disrespecting themselves by having me laugh at them. Sitting in the back watching my snickering was ok, they couldnt see me. Plus I am a nervous giggler. Everytime I saw them swing their legs up and over someones head I had this mental flash of that 6" platform heeled stripper shoe gouging someones eye out.

I told Phil to go up there, he didn't want to. I don't have any idea why, he gave me a couple excuses about being too full, or him being shy or...whatever. He didn't have a problem with them coming over and giving him lap dances but didnt wanna sit at the stage. So the one that was all tatted up with the missing front teeth came over I watched her give my husband a lap dance. I could see him liking parts of it, he really liked it when she wiggled her bottom on his lap, his eyes rolled back a little and his lips parted. He was embarrassed when she smushed his boobs in his face, I think for her. Then she insisted on giving me a lap dance.

Every stripper I encountered commented on my boobies. She said, "How bout you honey, you wanna dance?", "oh no thats ok, im---(alrighty then)", she cut me off and strattled me. She slapped my boobs like they were drums and said, "Oh wow I like those!" and she motor boated me...I was giggling like crazy, it was so ironic to me. I thought, "Thats how the motor boat is supose to work" as I heard the motor start and her head going side to side nuzzling into my cleavage. She came up for air and smushes her little boobies in my face. I dont know what strippers put on their boobs but it smells nice and is glittery. Phil said I had glitter all over my nose.

Then a stripper got on stage and did some tricks! She hung upside down on the pole with her legs in a v and spun around and did little flips and really fast turns and actually danced to the beat of the music, I was impressed. She had hips too! This one was still flat chested but she had some junk in her trunk. I was uncomfortable when they stopped dancing to wrap their legs around guys's heads at the stage...Especially when they lingered. Idk...wasn't into watching that. Thats when I would turn away and take a shot.

Every time a stripper got off stage and a new one came on she sprayed some sort of disinfectant all over the poles, the mirror and the floor and wiped everything down with a towel, as this was happening Phil turned to me and said, "See? Even they know they are nasty.".

While I was doing commentary on all of the strippers Phil kept defending the stripper world and talking about "Lesterville". Telling me these amazing stripper stories. "This one girl could fly through the air and her ass crack was an ATM", kind of rediculous stories. He said if "I" wanted to see strippers we needed to go to Lesterville. This is the same strip club location where he once told me, "A midget will suck your cock standing up.". So I agreed and we hopped in my car and made the 15 mile journey out of town to Lesterville, SD.

Only 180 people live in Lesterville, and there are 2 strip clubs, fully nude. While at the Cockatoo I mentioned how these girl weren't even getting fully naked, Phil informed me Live NUDES are illegal in the entire state of Nebraska (as well as gambling) and in SD its not. Lesterville is one of the only places in SD that have fully nude strip clubs. So count it, 2 fully nude strip clubs in a town of 180 people in BFE South Dakota.

As you pull into City limits you are face with a giant Catholic Church. We pulled in to let Lily run around and pee (she goes with us everywhere). I let her eat her McDouble in the Church Parking Lot.

Then we rolled in to the Leather & Lace Live Nude Strip Club.

I asked Phil, "Why are strip clubs so dark?", "So the strippers look hot."...he has an answer for everything lol...

I was blown away to see a bunch of black girls! Atleast 3 of them. I wouldn't have figured any black people lived in Lesterville...I guess I was right cause after talking to them for a little bit I learned there is a sort of Stripper Network and the girls come from all over testing out places and settle on the ones they like. I was also shocked to see the variety of women there. I no longer have stripper stereotype. Cocaine Barbie that you see in the movies that feature Strip Clubs scenes is apparently not the norm.

A veteran stripper, "been strippin for 16 years, before that I was a computer programmer", that goes by the name of Lisa, weird name I thought considering the board listed crazy ones like, "Nyla, Cashmere, Fluffy, Butter Cup, Sassy, Starlit, Cucci...Lisa."...She was old. I saw her dance first (before I spoke with her) her age wasn't immediatly apparent to me, she had a rockin tight little bod but her boobs...I couldnt figure it out something was horribley wrong with her boobs.....

You see, as a younger big breasted woman...I dont understand much about little boobs. First of all I thought only big boobies sagged...I didn't think little boobies ever sagged. This gal, had very little boobies, but they were deflated and very saggy. I starred at her chest for a while wondering what was going on there, trying to figure out how gravity could be so cruel to a woman....Thats when it hit me, she must be old. I turned to Phil, "That ones a lot older than the other huh?", he laughed like it was a stupid question, "Well ya!"...It made sense, but still, I thought no matter the age little boobs never sagged.

She came over and talked to me for a while, seemingly under no pretense, she didn't ask me if I wanted a lap dance or anything, she just sat next to me and opened up with a "I love your hair", "Tha--", "Fuck me, look at those tits! I wish I had some of those!", "Oh gosh tha--", "You are such a beautiful woman!" as she grabbed my face and ran her fingers through my hair. I couldnt get a word in edge wise, she was yammering a mile a minute about how men love big boobs. I was smiling and nodding, and trying to not to stare at her breasts that to me were so interesting and different they could have been next to the tigers at the Smithsonian, "And here folks we have 53 year old A cup stripper boobs.". They were just so little, they just hung there...I couldn't help but stare. She didn't mind. Then she asked if she could give my husband a lap dance. Of course she could!

I got a few lap dances, but Phil was waving over all the ladies.

A few of them were pretty talented, all different shapes and sizes at this place. There were really skinny one, regular sized ones, chubby ones, old ones, young one, middle aged ones. Varying talents, some could fly through the air, others just wiggled around.

We closed the strip club at 2am and then 40 minutes out of town and had sex in my car for an hour behind a car dealership, then Phil drove the other 1 hour and 20 minutes home while I passed out in the passenger seat. We had sex again right when we got home at 4 am , then again at about 6 am, and finally at 10am, then he went to go pick our son up and told me to stay in bed. YAY! I slept in late! That never happens. Then I got up and made a late lunch for when my babies got home. I made some awesome chicken enchilada burritos : )

So that was my Valentine's Celebration. I am looking forward to visiting the strip club again sometime. I think ill be more relaxed the second time around and less studious of the Stripper Species. Now I know they are just regular women, surely with more than their fair share of problems, but none the less normal people.

I dont know why so many women are threatened by their men going to strip clubs. Think what you will about my sanity but I thought I was just as hot as any of those ladies up there. I actually felt moe confident leaving the strip club than I did entering it! There were a couple smoking hot ones, but I wasn't threatened by them. It was very entertaining watching them on stage. Whether they were good or bad, you just couldn't look away. I would definitly go again. It seemed to have upped Phil's status in his friends circle, cause now he "Has the coolest wife ever!" lol...