There are many ways and reasons people show affection & intimacy. I think culture has a lot to do with it. The way people were raised and what was acceptable and normal behavior displayed and modeled for them as they grew up. The way a household raises their child has a great deal to do with their cultural background. Negative/Positive or Traumatic experiences can also effect what level of intimacy one is comfortable with.
As adults this behavior is inevitably brought into our relationships with loved ones/significant others/gf-bf/spouses. These behaviors can make or break a relationship. The way we express our love is something that feels innate to us and normal, we think its the way everyone should behave despite having the knowledge that we are all different. We maybe think we can show the other person the "correct" way to be intimate, that maybe they just never knew and surely when shown the light they well follow it. Soemtimes this will work, sometimes it wont.
Physically communicating can often me just as if not more important that verbal communication. This is why its so important in our love lives.
My family is overly touchy feely/lovey dovey, my cultural background is of Spanish descent. We kiss eachother on the mouths, cheeks, forhead, we hug eachother tightly for long moments. Where one would hug haflty with a pat on the back for maybe 2 seconds, we wrap our arms around eachother and squeeze chest to chest for as long an entire breathe, about 30 seconds. When sitting together comfortabley we entwine our legs or lay our heads on shoulders even laps. We say I love you morning noon and night, at the end of every phone call or departure, and randomly for no reason other than to say it. Of course this level of affection somewhat depends on the relation/gender of the people involved.
My husbands family on the other hand, they dont even touch eachother. My family's portrait looked like and orgy compared to theirs that could have been taken back in the 1800's when people wouldn't smile or even touch shoulders. Shocking as it is, my husband is extremely affectionate. 30+ years of repressed physical contact splooging out on me.
We are constantly touching eachother and saying I love you. I can see that Remington is already effected by it when I see how other kids his age are. Remi kisses the little girls and hugs everyone at his daycare and I can see some of the other kids thinking "Wtf? Oh, ok this is kinda nice." .
My son is extremely affectionate, we snuggle up tight under the blankies in the evening, he stops roaring with dinosaurs to jump into a hug with me. Sometimes he just wants to be held. Realistically 30 entire minutes a day are spent hugging eachother from 5:30pm to bedtime. It fantastic! My lil'man is gonna be a heartbreaker. It's so amazing as a parent when you actually see that your doing some things right! No doubt im fucking up somewhere and it will be shown to me when he is older, but when I get to see that I did something right and tick that off the list of things to weave into the fiber of his being.
He is affectionate He is in touch with his emotions He is so sweet and understands empathy, when I get a boo boo he kisses it. He is hilarious with a wicked sense of humor Oh and of course, he is devastatingly good looking : P
Those are the qualities that I take partial credit for and that make me feel like im doing something right.
Thanks for the reminder that I have my ex-husband to thank for his demonstrativeness and bringing me back into the fold. My family was fine when we were kids but as adults it stopped.
As for Remi, let me share my daughter in law's take on kids. My grandchildren can only hug and kiss family. Friends get a high five. She got tired of the kids coming home with lice in their waist length hair! :)