my last post for tonight...
the coming days would be busy with work and since i cant sleep i might as well blog the things thats bugging me.
there are days where you asked a question and no matter how hard you try, you still can't find the answer...
and there are days where it unexpectedly it hits you in your face...
and if you dont listen to it the lessons would never repeat again and you'll be stuck with the question...
that happened to me today...
and because of that some things need to change...
because the emotions i feel, the frustration, the anger, the impatience...
it doesnt only affect me but the people who cared about me as well...
i didnt realize that im pushing them again because of this.
im letting the sadness and frustration rule me again. im letting it take over that the people who cared about me is starting to go away.
yes it hurts and its my defense mechanism...
i am grateful though...
that there is one person who told me about this...
that would rather take a chance of saying this even though it might hurt my feelings...
unlike other people who would just keep it inside them and keep getting angry at me and instead of talking would sulk their ass off (im talking about my sister here)
and you know what?
no matter how much it hurts...
its better to say it to my face...
because then i analyze this and understand it.
i am not perfect. i know that. i am human.
and sometimes i let this sadness control me that is becoming anger...
im glad someone shook me off this feeling and just told me honestly about it.
there are times im not even aware that im doing it.
so its nice of the reminder...
it hurts me though that they are affected when im sad...
although it just shows that they care...
and im really grateful for people like that in my life...
Sometimes being a real friend means saying the hard stuff, and I'm glad someone was able to call you out so that you can feel better, and perhaps the others around you can too.