Yakkstr

Family, Beers, Home Tomorrow

I don't feel too creative tonight or in too much of a writing mood, but I have felt that putting my thoughts on paper (or screen I suppose) has been good. Maybe I am not feeling the need to rant or get as much off of my chest, which is good. Ever since I heard that Cindy is "happier than I've been in a long time," I too have been more at ease and not thinking of her every waking moment. Knowing that she is better and with another guy; ew no, that came out wrong. I have not been imagining her with another guy. : )

I have spent about a week in either what I call my home town or the town that I grew up in, and tomorrow I get to head home. I love my home and am so excited.

My Mom was in this town tonight as well as one of my Aunt's and my little brother (whom I am surprised I haven't mentioned yet, he is probably my best friend in the world). We all went out for drinks after dinner and it was pretty fun. The waitress at our pub we attended was simply stunning. And I do mean simply. She wasn't all dolled up, and probably would have been passed up by other guys, but I thought she was very attractive (and if my eyes didn't deceive me, she may have even "double-looked" me. Probably not, that doesn't really happen to me, but it was nice to think so).

No, I didn't hit on her. No, I didn't make any advances. The point I took from all of this was, here is this very cute lady, perhaps even looking your way, and I didn't need to compare her to the ex and I didn't feel the need to feel guilty for giving her a second look. Maybe I am actually on the road to recovery from the breakup. God I hope so. We paid the bill, left, and I smiled on the way out.

Yes, when I got back to the house I still considered how nice it would be to crawl into bed with a beautiful woman tonight. The important part is I think I'm not driving myself as nuts as I have been for the past few months. I hope so anyways. I may not be ready to throw myself back out onto the "market," but baby steps as it were, baby steps.

See you back home, me.

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uniquely-learning said over 1 year ago ...

It's nice to hear that you're starting to think of the future. To see life past the ex. Keep at it.

torrentdeheart said over 1 year ago ...

Thanks unique. Hopefully this is just a normal level of pessimism, but I am really scared that something small could derail me and send me back on the downward spiral. I mean it almost seems a little too good to be true. This sudden step into a feeling of being content is just somewhat worrisome. I guess I have been trying to get over her for months now, so it is not too sudden, but it feels like these new feelings happened in just the last few days. But worrying about what may happen is just a silly thing to do. : ) No need to respond, just a little something that passed through my head as I read yours. Thanks so much.

silverphoenix said over 1 year ago ...

hey torrent, I can understand that "too good to be true" feeling. And if I were you, I wouldn't think about the little things or what-if's that could derail you. Try your best to be in the present moment! Enjoy your new found contentment that you've earned. :)

torrentdeheart said over 1 year ago ...

I am not sure how I have earned it so it's somewhat tough to take too much good feeling there, but I did take your advice about just living in the present. I like that mode of mind. It's hard to keep my mind off the little things sometimes but I think I am making progress.

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